FAQ

I thought long and hard about what questions people most frequently ask me. Here they are.

Where did you get that shirt?
The outlet mall.

What the heck breed is your dog?
Best guess – basset hound and springer spaniel.

Pirate or ninja?
Ninja. Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate’s life (sounds too germy) for me.

Have you ever done any modeling?
Just kidding.

How do you have such a successful marriage?
Don’t marry a jerk.

Do you want a mint?
Yes.

What’s your favorite book?
Fiction. Watership Down, nonfiction The Hiding Place, by Corrie Ten Boom

Favorite color?
Blue, wait wait, about the last question, replace The Hiding Place with The Bible. Okay, carry on. But still, read The Hiding Place.

Glass half full or half empty?
Half empty. I passed a billboard the other day which said, “You’re next!” I couldn’t make out the picture, but I thought it was going to be the grim reaper. When I got closer, I saw that it was a woman who had won big at the casino.

Can we have some candy?
Sure. The grim reaper’s coming soon anyway. I saw it on a billboard.

Can you come to my party?
Maybe.

Do you like your Vibram Fivefingers? I’ve been thinking about buying some.
Do it. You’ll never want to wear regular shoes again. The more of us who have them, the better the chances they’ll be considered acceptable footwear for formal occasions.

Do you need some cash?
Yes. Thanks Mom.

Where is the bathroom?
First door on the right.

How much do you charge for writing/editing projects?
Depends on the project. But I will make sure you are satisfied with the results!