Google, dasher of dreams.
Every time I think of a clever name for a company, I get so excited that I practically take out a small business loan. “Catering? Sounds like a nightmare, but I simply must use the name Party Flavors.” Then I check Google to make sure no one’s already using it. Party Flavors. There it is, darn it. Probably for the best, seeing as how I hate cooking for people so much I can never sleep the night before we have company for dinner.
It’s not just business names. Something in me is desperate to be the first person to think of an idea. Any idea. Just one! For example, I wanted to coin the word ‘matriot,’ for a patriotic female. Too late. Checked Google. Before that, I wanted to be the first to bless online readers around the world with my epiphany that Phineas and Ferb is exactly like Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, except they’re not cutting school, and there’s a platypus/spy. They’re good-naturedly looking for exciting adventures to fill their day while their sister unsuccessfully tries to get Mom to see what’s going on. Think about it. Oh, someone already did! Darn you, Google.
But wait. The other day I ran across the misspelling, “Don’t wear high heals,” and everything changed. High heals? High? Heals? The perfect play on words for a marijuana dispensary! Surely the phrase has been used somewhere on the internet.
Nope. Not even in trace amounts.
Seriously? I finally have sole ownership (I wonder if there’s a seafood restaurant called Sole Proprietor – yep, Googled it) of an idea and it’s pot related? Not only do I have to start a small business (I’ve heard that’s, well, hard) but I have extra legal issues. Who do I buy it from? Do I get to write prescriptions? No, probably not. Will I have to deny patients who have obviously forged their prescription? That could get scary. If I encourage women employees to wear high heels for company branding, will I be liable for their back pain? Am I a gateway store to legalized meth? Wait, maybe I should call my place Gateway!
Oh dear, I haven’t even gotten started and I’m already in over my head shop. I guess tonight it’s back to the drawing board for a different original idea. Alas, if I’m using phrases like “back to the drawing board,” maybe I’d better go to sleep and try originality again tomorrow.