Today I watched two petite women in front of me at the drive-through ATMs struggling to reach the machines while still seated in their cars. One had her door open, leaning out with one cheek still on the seat so she could pretend she succeeded, and the other had the window rolled down and she was hanging over the door frame in a position I’ve experienced, and it ends with bruised ribs. Unless these women get help, they’ll surely give up soon, ultimately sparing the air by parking and walking up to the walk-up machine. And we wouldn’t want that!
Here’s the secret! In order to reach the buttons like a boss, you will end up reversing your car when you’re through. Pull up like normal, and just before you get to the keypad, (moving slowly) crank your wheel to the left and get close enough to the building that you’ll never be able to move forward without taking out a chunk of stucco, or brick or whatever.
Complete your transaction comfortably. PUT THE CAR IN REVERSE.* Back up, throw it in forward, and go. The quicker you do this part, the more the driver behind you will nod and gape in admiration.
The first time I did this, I said out loud, “God don’t take me now; I just learned how to use a drive-through ATM!”**
I know pretty soon we probably won’t even need ATMs. We’ll take pictures of our checks, and no one will use cash anymore, but for one glorious moment I am the queen of the drive through, and you can be, too.
*Marie Millard is not responsible for any lack of depth perception or ability to control cars as well as Ms. Millard does.
**I also just learned how to use a semicolon. Note how using the word “I” immediately after the semicolon covers up the fact that I can’t remember whether to capitalize the second part. Other semicolon statements I can make include, “I can’t go to the store; Steven’s going to pick me up soon,” and “Shelly can’t go to the store; San Francisco is a trip to where she is going to make soon.” Sorry; San Francisco had to go at the beginning.