Marie’s Dream Interpretation Guide

Long ago I had recurring dreams about having to use public restrooms with no stalls. As it was the only recurring theme in my dreams, that’s what I looked up when I came across a dream interpretation book in a bookstore. The book told me I felt guilty about something. I racked my brains. Did I feel guilty about something in particular, or was it a vague “I’m not good enough,” Catholic sort of guilt? I’m not Catholic, so I decided it must be something specific. I couldn’t figure out what.

Fast forward a decade or so. Last night I dreamed that I was cleaning a bathroom, and feeling a real sense of accomplishment. I found an online guide to dream symbols, and it said that cleaning bathrooms means you are starting to shed your inhibitions. Look out world! I might be unbuttoning my top shirt button! Stay tuned.

On the other hand, I don’t know how much credence I can give these interpretation guides, because, just for kicks, I looked up the whole ‘restrooms without stalls’ thing, and it said I might just be yearning for more privacy. That makes a lot more sense than the guilty thing. I could have avoided a lot of stupid soul searching. Maybe I should keep my shirt buttoned.

These variances made me think that maybe I’d be just as good at interpreting dreams as all the books and websites already out there. For instance, I happen to know from personal experience that dreaming about urinating means that you are dangerously close to peeing the bed, so I looked that up, and the website only said that it means 1. The release of negative emotions, or 2. A pun (wow you’re good at puns in your sleep) that you have a “pissy” attitude. Now those aren’t nearly as helpful as my interpretation. My interpretation? If you dream that you are peeing, wake the #%!@ up and get to the bathroom.

Here are some themes that the website says are common in dreams. I didn’t bother looking at their interpretations (see above) but here are mine.

Chase Dreams
I used to wake up overheated from scary dreams. Wow, I thought, was I running so hard in my dreams that I actually broke a real sweat? That’s a powerful dream! Wrong. Turns out that I was overheated from being dehydrated, and feeling overheated made my brain concoct a dream that would go along with how my body was feeling. I never drank water before bed because of the urinating dreams and sprints to the bathroom (see above) but I started to down some water before bed – nightmares gone. Bam. (I’ll take the sprints to the bathroom, thank you. Those were some freaky dreams.)

Teeth Dreams
I remember reading long ago that teeth dreams could mean you’re worried about money. My guess is that you’re dreaming about teeth because you’re clenching them in your sleep. Because of money worries? Maybe. But it could just as easily be worries about cooking for your in-laws or who will play the next Batman.

Flying Dreams
They seem so spiritual. Are you feeling closer to God? Superpowerful? Carefree? Sorry. If you’re like me, your back is out of alignment, causing numbness. I used to wake up from awesome flying dreams only to find that my arms, chest, and lips were numb. Once again my brain created a dream to go along with how my body felt. I thought I was dying of some rare condition where my heart stopped while I slept. Then one day my back cracked, ziiiiiiip! No more numbness. No more flying.

Falling Dreams
Inner ear problems? Spouse flopping around in the bed sending you on a roller coaster?

Naked Dreams
I’m sure the experts say that naked dreams mean that you feel exposed, vulnerable. And maybe they’re right. I can’t think of a physical reason that you would dream about being naked, except that underneath those jammies, you are!