I saw the look on your face when that American Idol contestant said “My mom loves you.” I understand that it would have been a bummer to have the kids all gushing about Keith and Jennifer, but I have some reasons for you to appreciate your momtastic fan base.
1. We bought your albums.
And that includes the one that suddenly wasn’t big band. P.S. I forgive you for selling me tickets to that show BEFORE the album came out. I thought I was going to see you with a big band, but whatever.
2. Some of us are damn sexy.
Okay, not me, but some of us. Like your lovely wife, for instance. P.S. I used to skip the song “Jill” because of envy, but I’m over it now.
3. We know what a pentatonic scale is.
Let’s face it, Harry. Most of your fans are musicians. That is why we appreciate you. Yes you are charming, and yes you have pretty eyes, but your fans are not going to be the same kids who liked Justin Bieber. Some of the kids auditioning have great voices, but most of them haven’t learned music theory yet.
4. You bring it on yourself.
How can we moms not love you when you tell the kids not to get tattoos and not to sings sex songs when they’re fifteen? We can’t. So don’t blame us if we love you and our tattoo-wanting, trying-to-be-sexy-before-their-time teenagers don’t.
Anyway, don’t worry, Harry. Your time on A.I. will surely make you known to the younger crowd, and I’m happy for you. And I’m happy for them that they will get introduced to jazz and such a fine performer and man such as yourself. Just don’t forget who loved you when.