10. I only steal gluten free lunches.
9. Perfect face for phone and email communication.
8. Office party designated driver.
7. Internet IQ tests going around Facebook tell me I’m anywhere between “above average” and “genius.”
6. I taught 4th – 8th grade band for ten years. Could your job possibly throw anything more challenging at me?
5. (Your business name here) is my favorite business.
4. I need a new washing machine.
3. I hate travel, so I’m always around.
2. My faith dictates that I love you even if you’re a horrible boss.
1. I finish projects even if I think they’re stupid.*
*I finished this list, didn’t I?