To Miss America, I love you. You are American, and you are beautiful. Even though I’m anti-pageant (envy may or may not be involved in that opinion) I love you. To those who rant about having a Miss America of Indian descent, I love you, too. I only hope that some day you will know the joy of having an American friend who looks different than you. It’s pretty cool.
To families with stick figure representations of themselves on their SUV window, I love you. You are adorable, and I love that you value your kids. To those who rant against the stick figure crowd, I love you, too. You’re trying to be funny, and I love funny! Or maybe you’re sad that you don’t have kids. Well then, I hope you get to have some someday.
To anyone who mixes up “their,” “there,” and “they’re,” I love you. You’re probably an auditory learner, and probably really good at something I’m not good at, like chemistry or dog training. To those who rant about the misuse of “their,” “there,” and “they’re,” I sure love you. We have something in common! I love education and language, too! I secretly edit my friends’ messages, too!
To gun control ranters, on both sides of the issue, I love you. You want a safer community. You want freedom. Me too! Some of you want to keep yourself safe and free by arming yourselves, and some of you want to keep yourselves safe and free by keeping certain guns away from certain people. I have a definite opinion, but I LOVE you both.
To teenagers, I love you. The adults who rant about “kids these days” either don’t know you very well, or they don’t remember their teen years very well. To anyone who rants about teenagers, I love you. I hope you meet some of the fantastic teens who are out there, and/or remember some of the thugs you grew up with and/or were.
To everyone who rants about things that never happened, I love you, but please check Snopes.
To ranters everywhere, I love you. Sometimes you are right, and sometimes you’re hilarious, and sometimes you’re offensive, and sometimes I wish you’d shut up, but even when you’re dead wrong and about as funny as a pile of dirty dishes, I still love you.