Call me unromantic, but when I hear “You complete me,” (Jerry Maguire) I think, run away, girl! He can’t stand on his own two feet! He should have stopped with, “Hello.” But I guess when you look like Tom Cruise you can say pretty much whatever you want and still get the girl. (Pretty much, do you hear that Tom?)
Here are some other “romantic” lines that make me cringe and/or roll my eyes.
“To me, you are perfect.” (Love Actually)
If he’s saying that, it’s only because he doesn’t know you well enough. Get over yourself. Also, if it’s so romantic, he shouldn’t be saying it to his friend’s wife.
“Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” (Love Story)
Really? I’m going to try this in my marriage!
“If you’re a bird, I’m a bird.” (The Notebook)
Conditional bird, conditional love. Of course, I wouldn’t be a bird, conditionally or otherwise, just because someone demanded it, but I guess I’m not as romantic as Noah, which is why I didn’t make it through the book The Notebook or even start to watch the movie.
“We’ll always have Paris.” (Casablanca)
I dare you to try this as a break-up line with your girlfriend.
“Nobody puts Baby in a corner.” (Dirty Dancing)
Find your own spotlight, Baby. As I write this I’m thinking, is she really called Baby through the whole movie? I hope she sheds that nickname at the end. I can’t remember because I’m the only girl who graduated from high school in 1991 and did not watch this movie over and over. Bleh.
“When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.” (When Harry Met Sally)
Actually, well done, Nora Ephron. Written by a woman, of course. I only wish Harry would have realized it sooner, but I guess you need your movie to be at least an hour and a half. Is it bad that my favorite romantic-movie line is when you think (also in When Harry Met Sally) Carrie Fisher is going to say “I just want you to know…I’ll never leave you,” or something like that, and instead she says “I just want you to know…I’ll never want that wagon wheel coffee table.”
Maybe it’s not that I’m not romantic, but that the romance I believe in can’t be contained in a one-liner. Ooh, that’s good. I think I’ll use it as a one-liner in my next book.
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