Stages of a Cold

1. Denial
“I think it’s just allergies,” you say, because it really could be.

2. Acceptance
Day two. Thick snot, a little cough. Uh oh. Yes, you have accepted it, but you still have to keep up the allergy façade because you’ve exposed everyone at work to your germs.

3. Barry White
Or if you’re too young to know who Barry White is, maybe you’ll understand this: It’s day three, and you can now sing along with Scotty McCreery. And you’re a girl. Unfortunately, stage 3 makes the allergy façade nearly impossible.

4. Anger
“My nose hurts and has skin peeling off of it even though I’m using those tissues with lotion in them!” “My work friends made me stay home, so I’m losing money!” “The world can’t survive without me!” “I don’t sound as good as Scotty McCreery or Barry White!”

5. Euphoria
You’re better! The sky is beautiful! Birds are singing a special song just for you! The grocery clerks are smiling extra big, because you’re back, baby!

6. Acceptance, again
Maybe you weren’t better. You try to do all the housecleaning you couldn’t do while you were sick, and it exhausts you. You go to bed at 6:30.

7. Back to Reality
After a few days, you’re better for real. The world survived without you. The housework gets done. Your nose heals. You get blamed for everyone else who happens to have gotten sick at work, whether or not they have kids in germy preschools or wash their hands before eating. You wonder why you didn’t take just one more day.

1 Comment

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One response to “Stages of a Cold

  1. robin

    Love it! And it’s sooo, sooo true, especially the denial stage…except for me… I’m in denial much, much, much longer than you are. Thank God, you’re smarter than me. After three days of no sleep, coughing up a lung or two, and finally diagnosed with bronchitis/borderline pnemonia is when I move onto stage two, the acceptance phase.

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